By
Mademoiselle Venus
Hello to the Martians and Venusians tuned into today's episode.
I'm your host, Mademoiselle Venus.
Welcome back to this channel.
And I want to welcome myself back to this channel with this episode.
I apologize for my hiatus from this channel. I've had a lot of things going on for me in my personal and professional life, and I just got sucked in right?
It sucks, honestly, because this is all I really want to do besides writing fiction. And, hopefully you guys can support me, and give me the opportunity to monetize this channel and the content that I'm producing here.
Anyways, so today's episode is about introversion and extraversion, and I thought I would do a deep dive and I truly did.
I made, I recorded some videos where I dove in so deep that I started losing track of time and I realized this,this content needs to be short.
Because what you are looking for is clarity.
And I don't want to confuse you with a lot of nuances because honestly, there's a lot that can be said about introversion and extroversion but my focus remains that I want to give you the clarity, that you need in order to figure out your personality type before I get into resolving this conundrum for you, which is whether you're an introvert or an extravert.
I understand the frustration and the stress you feel.
If you're new to the Myers-Briggs, typing system and you're trying to figure out whether you're an I or an E because all those goddamn tests, they force you to choose.
one of the two dichotomies, right.
And the quizzes, the questions are structured around introversion and extroversion and this can be incredibly frustrating because all of us can do everything right. If we go by the stereotypical definitions of introversion and extroversion, introverts like to be quiet. They're socially awkward and by contrast,
extraverts like to live it up.
They're out there, they're very comfortable socially and they can pick up on social cues, etc. and let me tell you that this definition well, it's not going to help you.
It's not entirely inaccurate, right? It's kind of. It's like a juxtaposition
Right.
Two states. Two opposing states can exist together at the same time.
And that is possible.
And yes, you are an ambivert.
All of us are ambiverted. Right because think about it.
If you were truly an introvert, you would go insane listening to your thoughts, having no outside feedback, and you'd be highly cut off.
I mean you'd be highly depressed, cut off from everyone and you would go insane at some point. And if you were an extrovert, living it up all the time, I mean, where the hell would
you get all that energy from, right?
You're going to get burnt out eventually. So, yes, all of us are ambiverted.
We need to interact with the outside world which is extroversion, and we also need to
withdraw, go within ourselves and reflect or introspect on whatever
the hell we're doing with our lives.
Right? So we are ambiverted.
I'd also like to address the furore that my last video on the INTJ-INFP relationship dynamic caused here on this channel. Yes, the content was anecdotal. I should have foreworded the content by saying that but the information was, strengthened by the themes that were elaborated by the Socionics system, which is the Russian equivalent of the Myers-Briggs system.
And I know the lettering works very differently, but just keeping that aside and there is this element of posturing in an INTJ-INFP relationship.
Okay.
And that's simply because of, the two dichotomies, right? of thinking versus feeling, where each type is trying to overcompensate for their shortcomings.
Right, or their insecurities with the INFP trying to overdo their logical and rational mind and the INTJ also tries to overdo their sentimentality.
And, you know, they're constantly talking about their values and how immoral other people are. Things like that. Okay.
And it seems childish you know, for someone who's looking from the outside, it seems like a parade, right where they're trying to cover up for their own insecurities.
Because the INTJs strengths are the INFPs, cognitively speaking, they are the INFPs
blind spots or weaknesses, and vice versa. I apologize for all this background noise.
There’s just one more piece of commentary that I wanted to add to the INTJ-INFP relationship dynamic with you is that I'm just giving you all these patterns or like the overarching theme, of any, MBTI types when they come together in any romantic context.
I'm giving you these patterns because I just want you to be aware. I just want you to be prepared. And in case you were in a bad relationship or a relationship that confused you, right?
And you were trying to piece it all together.
Hopefully these patterns would help you understand what went wrong.
Okay.
And if it's a good relationship, again, these patterns will help you inform better about what happened and why you should continue to be in this relationship.
That is the only agenda I have. And I'm sorry if, I offended you INTJs or INFP with my previous, video but that was my observation.
It was anecdotal, but it was also informed in large part by Socionics,
Alright folks, the show begins now. What does introversion and extroversion mean? Let's go back to the source. Carl Jung with his book Psychological Types his seminal work talked about introversion and extroversion and the language is very dense, very abstruse, and the style of words.
And you can derive double meanings.
But on this one thing, he's been absolutely clear, right? Which is introversion is a subjective
experience or a subjective mental experience.
And by contrast, extroversion is an objective mental experience.
What the hell does that mean? So I'm going to use ome theoretical language here. And then I'm going to translate it into practical terms.
So just bear with me.
I just want you to get, the essence of what Carl Jung was saying out of reverence for Carl Jung.
Okay. so Carl Jung basically says that an introvert has this propensity to pull inward, to go within themselves. When does that happen?
That happens when the there's an external stimulation, okay.
And stimulation that they receive is from an object.
Now this object could be a person or a thing or an activity.
Right.
So the introvert let's say is sitting in a cafe and then someone just walks in with,
this nice fancy watch. And the introvert looks at the watch. The introvert is looking at the watch, the make of the watch.
Like factual information associated with the watch.
Right.
What is the watch made of, the material
that went into making that watch
What does the dial face look like?
The color of the watch those sorts of descriptors.
But the introvert has a tendency to add more to the stimulation
or to this stimulating object. Right.
Perhaps, the watch reminds them of a grandparent who covets watches who has a watch collection. And so the introvert starts reflecting on that memory.
Okay, reflecting on this person, the relationship that they shared with this person and, you know, all the good memories and the bad memories and then they reflect on the good memories, and then they think about the bad memories.
And so you can see that the watch was the central piece? Right?
It was the object of stimulation. And it populated several thoughts
for the introvert. And the introvert was stimulated by those memories.
Right.
The introvert started receiving stimulation from the watch, and then the introvert pulled in, pull inward because the introvert started receiving stimulation from their own memories associated with that object, that object of stimulation.
The watch?
So that's what Carl Jung talked about.
So it's almost like an indulgent introversion is an indulgence.
And theoretically speaking extroversion is also an indulgence.
But indulgence here is different, right?
The extravert looks at the watch doesn't pull inward as much.
I mean we can all withdraw. But the extrovert’s attention is on the watch. And maybe the person who's wearing the watch. So they're kind of, pulling in all this information about the watch.
Right. What is it made of? The material, the size, the coloring all of those things. And whether it's an expansive watch, or a cheap watch. But the extrovert is also simultaneously
paying attention to the person wearing the watch, you know, how is this person walking and
is this person talking to somebody else?
And so their attention goes, to their environment, right?
The the environment becomes very stimulating to them whether it gathering a lot of objective pieces of information about the environment itself.
So it goes beyond the watch, right? They're not pulling inward
because the external world is more stimulating for the extravert.
And the extravert is trying to engage with these stimulating objects in the environment.
Again, this is one type of extraversion, okay?
There are different types of introversion and different types of extraversions,
and I'm going to get into that shortly.
So how does this translate to observable behaviors? With introverts you can notice that there is a sort of reluctance to participate in the, outside world to receive the stimulation.
Right?
They're not ready to receive stimulation from the outside world because they're happy
receiving stimulation from within. They also have this tendency to jump to conclusions, they make a lot of assumptions and most introverts are overthinkers because they think they know what's going on based on what has already happened or they can explain what's going to happen in the future based on what's happening right now.
Okay.
So since they jump to conclusions very quickly, they also have this reluctance
to participate, right, because they've already made that conclusion, like, why?
Why should I go party?
Right. Like, I've seen this happen with my brother, who's an ISTJ.
I've never seen him party ever. Okay.
And a bunch of times he has partied, it's been under very forcible circumstances, right.
When he's had to, like please people from work or some of his old acquaintances
that he needed to catch up with. So the stance that he would take is that I'm not going to party because this party is going to be awful.
It's going to be ridiculous. It's just going to have a bunch of drunk people, people that I've already met, and they're not going to tell me anything new.
The only one to repeat all the stuff that they've told me in the past.
So I'm not going to participate not just because people are going to talk nonsense,
but because they're going to say things that I already know. So that's the conclusion.
He doesn't even entertain the possibility that, you know, people could have had a bunch of different experience, since he met them last, and they could talk to him about those experiences and they could give him new, insights, fresh perspectives.
But no, he is an introvert, so he already forms a conclusion. And so he decides not to go to the party.
This is how the practical these are some of the observable behaviors you can notice amongst introverts.
Okay?
They're not out there simply because they are in here making decisions, making assumptions
of what's going to happen. With extroverts, you would see that\ there is this openness, this eagerness, this willingness to participate in the outside world to meet new people to do new things because every experience is a new experience and they're not stimulated by their conclusions.
Okay. That an introvert would be drawn into. For an extravert, there is this attitude of looking at what is outside of themselves because that is more stimulating and an extravert.
If you examine the lives of both introverts and extraverts, okay. And we all had low points
in our lives, right? And if you try to find out like why the introvert hit that low point.
Okay.
How did that introvert get there?
And chances are it's because the introvert didn't take enough risks, didn't make bold moves, and the introvert sort of cocooned themselves because they were afraid.
They were afraid they were trying to protect.
They were trying to preserve their energy.
And by contrast, if you look at an extravert, they probably got to that low point.
They hit that low point because they try too hard.
They tried everything, okay, and they squandered their energy,
And they were all over the place and they took too many risks.
They made a lot of bold moves, and they didn't spend enough time figuring out
what is it that they really wanted to do, what was meaningful to them, what was fulfilling to them, what they should have done, what they were good at?
Right.
And again, I'm not saying that introverts are highly self-aware and extraverts are not self-aware.
That's not the case. That's not what I'm trying to say here. This is not black or white,
but chances are that introverts they're not, risk takers and extraverts are risk
takers.
And, introverts missed out or miss out on a lot of opportunities.
And extraverts take on too many, opportunities. Why?
Because they like to get that instant feedback from the outside world, right? and with an introvert, they don't want to be the object that provides the stimulation.
They just want to be able to receive that stimulation because they are very guarded
with their energy. Right?
They want to preserve it.
And they don't want to lose it because they're getting all that stimulation from within.
Introverts also tend to prefer one on one conversations, right?
Two’s company and three's a crowd.
But with extraverts, the more the merrier.
In summary, introverts are looking for guidance from within themselves.
Okay. They're their north stars in order to navigate, the chaos
that exists in the external world. Okay. And this could look really, really simple.
As simple as do I want
to drink coffee or do I want to drink tea?
Right. There's two options presented to them.
This introvert goes out, to a cafe with with their friends.
And the introvert is checking in with themselves asking what their preference is.
Okay, so even though the other people in the group are all drinking coffee, right.
So this is one type of introversion.
So I'm just trying to give you an example
of what it looks like.
and for extraverts, the outside world becomes their North star.
That's not to say that the extravert is going to comply with whatever the group is doing.
I'm not saying that.
I'm just saying that they look for guidance from outside of themselves, okay?
They're trying to reach out. They're trying to see what's out there okay? Versus an introvert who's going inward to check what's in here.
Right.
Let's look at the different types of introversions and extraversions.
So there's more flavoring to your understanding of what introversion can look like
and what extraversion can look like. Like I said, it's an indulgence. Right? So we will start off the list with INTPs and ISTPs and their primary introverted indulgences is checking for logic.
Okay, this what I'm hearing from the external world.
Is it making sense to me?
Does it sound sensible?
Is it true or is it false?
And they're constantly trying to verify the information.
They're trying to refine the information trying to understand what every word actually means. Again, an example for this would be. I was talking to an INTP and I said this in one of the previous episodes. But this INTP that I was talking to and he would just keep asking me a lot of questions, you know, if I call him a friend, he'd be like, what does friendship mean?
How am I your friend?
Things like that, where he's trying to understand the meaning of what I'm saying.
So that's how their introverted process can look for them, right?
They just pull inward and they're trying to answer all of these questions. And they're also extraverting by asking you these questions and trying to get in more data from you.
And so that's the simulation that they're receiving, right--- questions answers, ask more questions, get more answers and question the answers.
Right.
So why? Because they want to get to that source.
They want to get to that unadulterated truth. Okay. without any refinement.
They want to understand the world by asking questions. Next up, we have INTJS and INFJs and their primary indulgences. They're trying to figure out what the hell is actually going on. Okay?
They're trying to get to the truth of something which is also very similar to what an INTP and ISTP is doing.
Right?
But, it's just slightly more nuanced here--- where they're trying to gather, they're looking at all the factual pieces of information the TLDR version of an event,
and they're also trying to examine the reasons, the why of the event. Why why did this happen? Right. And there could be a million reasons why something happened. But they are trying to sort of boil the ocean for a cup of salt. So they're trying to figure out that one reason that one primary reason that triggered everything. Okay. and just to give you some example, there’s this INTJ that I've been talking to for a week now, and, I explained to him how I've been having some trouble with uploading more content on this channel.
And I gave him some reasons for my procrastination. One of them being that, you know, I am not motivated enough and I only do things when I feel motivated. And I also told him that you know, the past couple of months I have been super tied up with with a crazy schedule, both in my personal and professional life. And so the INTJ was hearing all of this out. And I also told him that, you know, I also had this crazy routine last year, where, you know I would wake up at 4 a.m. in the morning and just go for a run, okay?
And I did that consistently for, for a year.
And that's a lot for an INFP okay to stick to a routine.
So please give me credit here.
So the INTJ heard me out and he said just took a moment.
And he said, look, the reason why you're not making a lot of content is because you're not feeling inspired.
You're not feeling motivated. It's not because you're not able to juggle multiple things.
That's not the case.
So that gave me some perspective and helped me understand, yo, there's many reasons why I haven't been taking action, but actually it's about inspiration because when I feel inspired, I can move mountains.
Next on the list we have ISFPs and INFPs and they are paying attention to their preferences, their likes, their dislikes.
It's as simple as that. Does what I'm doing, does it feel good?
Does it line up with my preferences, my values? Do I like this or do I not like this?
Those are the kind of questions that ISFPs and INFPS get pulled into.
And that's why to an outsider, it can look like ISFPs and INFPs are incredibly selfish or self centered because they're always drawn into these questions and their self-absorption comes up this way the last pair of introverts are ISFJs and ISTJs and they're primarily paying attention to their comfort. Okay.
And how do they get that sense of comfort? It's by doing things that they are familiar with.
And that's why you notice that ISFJs and ISTJs. They have set routines. Okay. My dad is an ISFJ. He drinks coffee only on Sundays. Okay. Why? I don't know because it's a ritual. Like he he drinks coffee on me on Sundays.
Maybe he used to do that when he was a kid. Actually, he has a lot of childhood memories around that event and so he continues to follow it to this day. Right? He rides his motorcycle only on Sundays. And to me, as an INFP, it's kind of bizarre because I am super moody.
I'm always doing things that I feel like doing right.
But he does things according to his set routine.
And so ISTJS and ISFJs
They are highly risk averse.
They don't like shaking things up. They like to follow a set routine doing conventional things right.
Okay.
Moving to extraversion and the four different types of extraversions.
I'm going to start the list with ENTPs and ENFPs so their extroversion, shows up in the way they talk. They usually talk really fast.
And they're explorers, right?
They're exploring metaphysics. They're usually very eager very enthusiastic to share their views, their opinions on, on philosophy or anything that they've read or come across like a video they watched.
And they usually branch out to different topics.
Right.
Ideas populate as they keep talking.
Right?
So they think out loud and they and I it was funny to me when I asked a bunch of my ENTP and ENFP acquaintances about how extraversion shows up for them, they said that they feel energized when they initiate conversations with people. They are the first ones to discuss their ideas and waiting for others to think and initiate conversations with them costs them more energy.
They feel drained out. Okay,
okay.
ESTPs and ESFPs---they are the ultimate realists, okay?
They live in the moment.
They are connected to this real world whether absorbing the sights, the smells and the sounds just to reference, the movie, 'This is Spinal Tap', they truly practice mindfulness.
Okay, so the the watch example that I gave you an ESTP or an ESFP is sitting down in a cafe and then somebody walks in with a big fancy watch.
The ESTP/ ESFP is going to notice the watch, is going to notice the make of the watch the material that was that it was made out of you know, how big the dial face is, etc. and then they're also tuning in to the person wearing that watch.
Okay, what is the body language of that person?
And then you know, what's going on in the environment basically.
So that's that extraversion right there being present in the moment.
And gathering information about the environment that they are in.
Okay.
ESTPs/ ESFPs
can look like the stereotypical extraverts.
They get energized by meeting new people,
by going to parties,
by having a good time.
Next up we have ENFJs and ESFJs
They are paying attention to the people in their environment. What is their mood like?
They are tuned into this to the emotional milieu of the environment.
Okay. And why are they doing this?
They want to bring some sort of harmony.
And how do they bring this harmony?
They want to align their behaviors, their attitudes, their opinions. They want to adjust all of that to the group so that there's harmony. Okay.
So that's how their extraversion shows up---they would warm, personable they would try to make you feel comfortable and they would take an active interest
in your life in trying to understand you, in trying to understand what's going on for you and they would try to be as helpful as they possibly can.
And lastly, we have the sexiest pair of extraverts on the list----ESTJs and ENTJs
And, and why they are sexy to me----because they get the job done.
And that's their extraverted
attitude, right?
They just like to, break down every task into mini tasks and they get feedback from completing those mini tasks and that is their stimulation.
And that's how you would see their extraverted behaviors in taking action, okay.
That is the primary indicator.
Someone who doesn't waste time doesn't beat around the bush, just gets to it.
That is the extraverted attitude.
And that's why they are sexy.
All right, that's a wrap. Until next time.
What did I tell you? Don't get complacent.
Love you. Love me.
Love, Mademoiselle Venus.
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